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Carrikins

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Carrikins
  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5369
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15612) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (1248)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (2002)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

#20093138
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (1649)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (6763)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (39560)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11600) - you deserved it (33104)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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