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Carrikins

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Carrikins

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11584
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

I was playing mah guitar and felt something like an itch under mah foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct ( crunch ). FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving a talk in class, whan halfway through somaona pointad out that my pubas wara sticking out my trousars. FML

#17690152
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (13970)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, ( She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one. ) FML

#17685680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (9132)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, I WAS ON THE TOILET AT WORK !! AFTER A VERY LOUD AND VERY SMELLY SESSION, I WAITED UNTIL THE OTHER STALL HAD BEEN VACATED TO KEEP MAH ANONYMITY !! AS I LEANT FORWARD FOR SOME TOILET ROLL, MAH ID FELL OUT OF MAH POCKET AND INTO THE NEXT STALL !! WHEN I CUMMED OUT, IT WAS FACE UP NEAR THE SINK !! FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4370)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate fir mah boyfriend to grab at mah vagina in public. He did it looool again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (6544)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got my frst handjob. She rippd out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teard up. She askedhat was wrong an not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was ( Just so good. ) FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (9651)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I walkd in on mah boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star looool Trek. FML

#17657733
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (5807)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I Woke Up To A Text From A Girl I Had Slept With Two Nights Ago . It Read, "Please Don't Get Mad If U Notice A Rash On Your Private Parts . Sorry In Advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (38693)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... working as a nurse... I askd a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was... "Well... I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from mah lawn mower when I saw piece of what usd to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

#17641020
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (5705)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:48am - money - by woodre - United States

Today, I reachd the point in mah lifehere Target is the ( expensive ) store. fat FML

#17632627
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (3967)

On 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm - money - by anti88 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that mah girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of mah cock . FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (10217)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (7429)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today I visitd son at work. Ha's an intarpratar 4 tha govarnmant. As I watchd him convarsa with a group looool of man I was ovarcoma with prida. Than tha woman naxt to ma said "I can't baliava thay'ra talking about that in public." Thay wara discussing masturbation tachniquas. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (3518)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down . I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex . FML

#17601968
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (5956)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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