Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Carrikins

Search for a member

Carrikins

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6897
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:42am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:07am<b>adyb</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:01am<b>lingo171</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:26pm<b>Swiko</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 4:05pm

Carrikins's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Carrikins's badges

Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (13455)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (9109)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (6343)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (9401)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38947) - you deserved it (5613)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (37891)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (3749)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

#17641020
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29422) - you deserved it (5483)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:48am - money - by woodre - United States

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

#17632627
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (3952)

On 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm - money - by anti88 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (9926)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (7203)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (3368)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

#17601968
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (5768)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: