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Carrikins

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Carrikins

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8136
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:07am<b>adyb</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:01am<b>lingo171</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:26pm<b>Swiko</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 4:05pm

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (25501)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (31312)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (236521)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28694) - you deserved it (3785)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you deserved it (49213)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (6139) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

#17702973
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8685) - you deserved it (37629)

On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

#17702790
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (4256)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:58am - intimacy - by psychicmother (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (1939)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (4193)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (2163)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved



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