This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (2355)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (4353)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14593) - you deserved it (25113)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (3366)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16302) - you deserved it (29493)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9147) - you deserved it (22834)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (4112)
On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (3821)
On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (2353)
On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (50666)
On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (8067)
On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland
Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (5865)
On 10/30/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (4962)
On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
