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Carrikins

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Carrikins

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11594
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's page activity

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, an said I was going to be trained by ( The long-haired girly-looking idiot. ) big fat FML

#20163115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, an located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22548) - you deserved it (1638)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I brought a fluorascant tuba to tha stora to maka sura I got tha corract raplacamant . Trying to charm tha saxy cashiar, I wavad tha tuba in tha air, saying ( I naad a naw light sabra, thara is no forca laft in this ona and tha Empira is attacking . ) Turns out sha'd navar haard of Star Wars . FML

#20162883
277 comments

Today, the love of mah life, an long term partner, sat me down an told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the ned to have sex with me, an he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (3122)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today , I found mah sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of mah ex-boyfriends. And mah fiancé. We're getting marrid in three weeks. FML

#20162804
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (1609)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discoverd both how much I really talk to myselfhen I'm drinking alone an how thin the walls of my apartment are. I hered my own slurrd voice coming from my nieghbor's apartment. They had recordd me an made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8286) - you deserved it (18856)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Snappd At Me 4 Bieng Lazy An Incompetent, An Declard That If I Was Going To Behave Like A Child, She Would Be Treating Me Like One. This Includes Safety-proofing The House, Talking To Me Like A 3-year-old An Slapping Me With A Wooden Spoon When I Do Something Wrong. FML

#20162223
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (31093)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (5085)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed mah eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't knowhat's worse, dancing with a box, or opening mah eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (29217)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

I arrived home after a hard day's work to see mah 12-year-old sister had greased up mah 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

TODAY, I WAS AT THE LIBRARY USING A COMPUTER TO ORDER A PACKAGE. A MAN SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME MUMBLING TO HIMSELF WHILE STARING AT ME. AS I GOT UP TO GO TO THE PRINTER, HE POINTED AT ME AND SCREAMED, "I WILL BURN U ALIVE AND ENJOY IT!" ALL OF MY INFO INCLUDING MY ADDRESS WAS STILL ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today... my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat... he also got inside the car an sat next to my date... pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time... an walked me back to the house. My mom laughed an gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

today I found ma cildood diary stasd in a box in te attic. I flippd to te last page and noticd a little note written by ma now deceasd fater. It read, "Well son, tis diary proves tat your ainy assole - Dad." Tanks Dad, from beyond te grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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