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Carrikins's favorite FMLs
by noway / 01/03/2014 at 6:03am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Kids
by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by claubea11 / 01/01/2014 at 12:17am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by unwantedforlife / 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that… Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't… Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…