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Carrikins's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
by cock sauce / 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Miscellaneous
by hailsatan666 / 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by WTF / 06/09/2012 at 9:54am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by TimeForAHairCut / 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 12:12am / Singapore / Love
by C0r1nn3 / 06/07/2012 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML
by HELP / 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by DuhSteven / 06/06/2012 at 1:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
- Today, I broke up with my boyfriend and my cat got run over. They were the best things to be in my… Today, i attempted to break up with my girlfriend. First she accused me of cheating, then said shed… Today, one of my classmates in my culinary class slapped me with a raw chicken breast. Why? Because…