Carrikins

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Carrikins

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16541
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:33pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:24am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:37pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:14pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:27am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:24am

Carrikins's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Carrikins's badges

Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

by 2ndgenoration / 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

by snore / 04/19/2014 at 4:12pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

by Fatass / 04/18/2014 at 1:37am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

by ohmygod582 / 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

by princess / 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

by onlychild / 04/12/2014 at 2:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous