About CaptinFalconKnig : I love pizza, puppies and FALCON PUNCH!!!!! oh yeah and call me Roy (yes from fire emblem). i'm always a nice guy but i guess a bit shy you should say.
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Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18201) - you deserved it (2271)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (9439)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (2664)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States
Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (3031)
On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (7539)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (5738)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (4951)
On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (5922)
On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (8029)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (10304)
On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (3273)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54598) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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