About CaptinFalconKnig : I love pizza, puppies and FALCON PUNCH!!!!! oh yeah and call me Roy (yes from fire emblem). i'm always a nice guy but i guess a bit shy you should say.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77648) - you deserved it (4457)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53357) - you deserved it (7618)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (14188)
On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3528)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54525) - you deserved it (9165)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (8089)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (4755)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (3306)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (3520)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (3033)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
