CaptenAwesomeXD

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CaptenAwesomeXD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4551
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CaptenAwesomeXD's page activity

Visits<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>melissa8998</b> - the 04/19/2011 at 1:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:54pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 12:50pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 1:06am<b>candy29</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 12:54am<b>aarontheawesome</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 6:59pm<b>Sorrows</b> - the 11/20/2010 at 12:47pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 12:48pm<b>jellyomg</b> - the 10/10/2010 at 5:37am<b>281go</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 3:50pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:12pm<b>oddjonny</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 11:45am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 8:11pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 5:43pm<b>SZeth</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 7:35pm<b>HunnyLove</b> - the 06/01/2010 at 5:30pm

CaptenAwesomeXD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptenAwesomeXD's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

by Dumbass / 06/20/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

by SwimSquid / 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

by Lifeguard / 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work