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CaptenAwesomeXD

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CaptenAwesomeXD
  • Town/Country : Malmö, Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2344
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CaptenAwesomeXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (32216)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (11332)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (29433)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (28236)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (3872)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56861) - you deserved it (6105)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (9068)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9327) - you deserved it (36627)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67688) - you deserved it (11292)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (44864)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (5358)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60671) - you deserved it (4412)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)



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