CaptenAwesomeXD

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CaptenAwesomeXD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4628
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CaptenAwesomeXD's page activity

Visits<b>Survii</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:03am<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>melissa8998</b> - the 04/19/2011 at 1:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:54pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 12:50pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 1:06am<b>candy29</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 12:54am<b>aarontheawesome</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 6:59pm<b>Sorrows</b> - the 11/20/2010 at 12:47pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 12:48pm<b>jellyomg</b> - the 10/10/2010 at 5:37am<b>281go</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 3:50pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:12pm<b>oddjonny</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 11:45am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 8:11pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 5:43pm<b>SZeth</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 7:35pm

CaptenAwesomeXD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptenAwesomeXD's favorite FMLs

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

by Garry / 03/04/2010 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Work

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

by sandiego / 02/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

by foutu / 02/21/2010 at 6:52am / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

by Scaryman / 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

by analinguist / 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Geek

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

by LoveDrug / 02/17/2010 at 5:49am / Ireland / Love

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous