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CaptenAwesomeXD

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CaptenAwesomeXD

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2797
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CaptenAwesomeXD's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>melissa8998</b> - the 04/19/2011 at 1:55pm<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 01/17/2011 at 8:56pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 12:50pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 1:06am<b>candy29</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 12:54am<b>aarontheawesome</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 6:59pm<b>Sorrows</b> - the 11/20/2010 at 12:47pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 12:48pm<b>jellyomg</b> - the 10/10/2010 at 5:37am<b>281go</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 3:50pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:12pm<b>oddjonny</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 11:45am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 8:11pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 5:43pm<b>SZeth</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 7:35pm<b>HunnyLove</b> - the 06/01/2010 at 5:30pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 05/18/2010 at 7:54pm

CaptenAwesomeXD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptenAwesomeXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (59011)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (20895)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (11390)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (8357)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (43892)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (33701)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (8144)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (13630)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (6950)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2009)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (10031)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States



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