CaptenAwesomeXD

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CaptenAwesomeXD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4547
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CaptenAwesomeXD's page activity

Visits<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>melissa8998</b> - the 04/19/2011 at 1:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:54pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 12:50pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 1:06am<b>candy29</b> - the 12/28/2010 at 12:54am<b>aarontheawesome</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 6:59pm<b>Sorrows</b> - the 11/20/2010 at 12:47pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 12:48pm<b>jellyomg</b> - the 10/10/2010 at 5:37am<b>281go</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 3:50pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:12pm<b>oddjonny</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 11:45am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 8:11pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 5:43pm<b>SZeth</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 7:35pm<b>HunnyLove</b> - the 06/01/2010 at 5:30pm

CaptenAwesomeXD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptenAwesomeXD's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

by kevdev / 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

by dentallycorrect / 08/19/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

by Jayswizzle / 08/11/2010 at 4:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

by OhhhNooo / 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek