CaptainSlash

Search for a member

CaptainSlash

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 323
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

CaptainSlash's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

CaptainSlash's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

by Jessy / 10/14/2011 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

by andimanastudent / 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

by edodge / 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

by sampaloompy / 01/08/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous