About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (220)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (2560)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50747) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8277) - you deserved it (15980)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21953) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:36am - love - by LonelyShowers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (1406)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (1546)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (1355)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4580) - you deserved it (16394)
On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (29664)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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