Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CaptainNap124

Search for a member

CaptainNap124

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2791
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset

CaptainNap124's page activity

Visits<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:51am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:35pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 4:22am<b>lyzziesaysrawrrr</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:02am<b>Grauncho</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:20pm

CaptainNap124's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of CaptainNap124's badges

CaptainNap124's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19544) - you deserved it (3716)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (3565)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62254) - you deserved it (5025)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (24151)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

#19889068
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (3457)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:36am - love - by LonelyShowers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (2087)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (2241)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (4817)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (1652)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (4773)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

#19876028
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (24916)

On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (1909)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32334) - you deserved it (9861)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (1637)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (2764)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: