About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (2603)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16725) - you deserved it (1456)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12238) - you deserved it (7683)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14181) - you deserved it (1285)
On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (1754)
On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (2114)
On 08/07/2012 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16416) - you deserved it (4897)
On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7310) - you deserved it (22018)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23167) - you deserved it (937)
On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4650) - you deserved it (13259)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18165) - you deserved it (1869)
On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4548) - you deserved it (32066)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (7151)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16506) - you deserved it (2485)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10508) - you deserved it (19322)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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