About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (9334)
On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (5306)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6225) - you deserved it (22439)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (53313)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (37371)
On 06/21/2010 at 10:21am - love - by pizzafreak18 - United States (New York)
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (28673)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (14628)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (1725)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (6150)
On 02/03/2010 at 8:18pm - health - by XxOx - Sent from mobile version
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41897) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13610) - you deserved it (4487)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (4899)
On 01/02/2010 at 4:22pm - animals - by Darling_Cherry - United States (California)
Today, at my job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I put the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the man who left me at the altar 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (2020)
On 12/21/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by budapesthungary - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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