About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (2680)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39544) - you deserved it (4281)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7822) - you deserved it (17541)
On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39137) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (4559)
On 11/24/2011 at 2:30pm - love - by sigh - United States (California)
Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (4950)
On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (2772)
On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31109) - you deserved it (3320)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (4003)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (1726)
On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (8708)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15242) - you deserved it (4251)
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (5081)
On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (3240)
On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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