About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (3098) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (10721)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (33994)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (3095)
On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (1734)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37348) - you deserved it (3538)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (6138)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)
Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (4313)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (1032)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (6503)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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