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CaptainNap124

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CaptainNap124
  • Town/Country : SF, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2483
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainNap124 : Lol I love funny stuff and xbox :P women are horrible... Men should stick to the "bro's before ho's" mindset

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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CaptainNap124's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47882) - you deserved it (5868)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (7893) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (5974)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58170) - you deserved it (5070)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (32530)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (3327)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (6487)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (5784)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (4731)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (5848)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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