CaptainMcNugget

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CaptainMcNugget

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2771
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainMcNugget : If I had a sandwich in one hand while playing the guitar with the other two, I would both be perfectly happy and confused as to why I have 3 hands.

CaptainMcNugget's page activity

Visits<b>alexishbu</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:00am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:57am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:10am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:27pm<b>Tgimonday</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:04pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:59am<b>Emelka</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:16am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:09pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:42pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:41pm<b>BelindaTree</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 12:19am<b>yeahreally</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 10:10pm<b>Landskrona</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 5:30pm<b>YourMomGotOwned</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 7:32pm<b>holynemesis1208</b> - the 03/01/2009 at 2:08am<b>King_of_Kings</b> - the 02/28/2009 at 7:57pm<b>Lilu01</b> - the 02/16/2009 at 8:52am

CaptainMcNugget's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptainMcNugget's favorite FMLs

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

by like / 03/14/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Geek

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

by goddamnit / 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

by HansonLUVR / 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

by Shell / 03/05/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

by saltinawound / 03/05/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

by Noname / 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML

by Damn_her / 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love