About Captainmcnugget
If I had a sandwich in one hand while playing the guitar with the other two, I would both be perfectly happy and confused as to why I have 3 hands.
Captainmcnugget - Followers
Captainmcnugget - Followed
Hugged!
Captainmcnugget's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    9%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Captainmcnugget's favorite FMLs

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

By SSH / Sunday 18 January 2009 12:41 / United States

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

By TMI - / Monday 20 April 2009 17:12 / United States

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

By robinhoood - / Monday 20 April 2009 05:53 / United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

By Eyesore / Thursday 16 April 2009 21:27 / United States

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

By anonymiss - / Monday 13 April 2009 16:12 / Canada