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CaptainFoxbutt

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CaptainFoxbutt
  • Town/Country : 'Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CaptainFoxbutt : First of all, the username is a joke between me and my irl friend.

Anyway, hello person who is currently reading this. You many have decided to look at my profile because of the peculiar username, because you're a stalker, because you are bored, because you are genuinely interested in who I am, or because of some other reason that I have failed to bring up.

I am a pretty chill person in general, I swim and play Pokemon, CoD (overrated as procreation, by the way), Zelda (one of the three greatest series ever), Mario, to name a few.

Music is awesome, except for that music genre that's been popular for the past 6 years. That genre is shit.

I play piano and clarinet, and I'm learning guitar and an assortment of percussion instruments.

If you indeed message me, I will indeed consider replying. Being social for the win.

Oh, and I'm 15. That information might be important to some people.

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CaptainFoxbutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (3495)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (3057)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50081) - you deserved it (8585)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45388) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51070) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (11127)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41879) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (2134)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML



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