Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CaptainCola

Search for a member

CaptainCola

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CaptainCola : "If you have the ability to help someone, then you have the responsibility"

CaptainCola's page activity

Visits<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:23pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/13/2012 at 12:11am<b>fanceh</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 9:32am<b>humorizer</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 4:19pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 1:55pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 8:36am<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/04/2011 at 8:37am

CaptainCola's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of CaptainCola's badges

CaptainCola's favorite FMLs

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

#18979126
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5408)

On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

#18939458
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (26147)

On 01/29/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

#18829568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8795) - you deserved it (25984)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (31366)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

#18716457
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11991) - you deserved it (45490)

On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (3744)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (34770)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

#18620237
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (2026)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

#18601417
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (15292)

On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (4833)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

#18479529
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (25969)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

#18458451
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (3782)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27703) - you deserved it (3160)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: