CaptainCola

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 8:35am)

CaptainCola

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1488
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CaptainCola : "If you have the ability to help someone, then you have the responsibility"

CaptainCola's page activity

Visits<b>Spencyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:29am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:10pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:38am<b>123765</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:08pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:53am<b>FrozenMusic</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:26am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:52am<b>gab86</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:42am<b>maxface</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Honema</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:59pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:40am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:20am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:32am<b>Allied94</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:17am<b>breeyand</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:01am<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:43am

CaptainCola's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of CaptainCola's badges

CaptainCola's favorite FMLs

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

by Itchy Missy / 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

by retromermaid / 09/09/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

by svenska75 / 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm / Health

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

by lillymean / 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

by potatoes / 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

by louise / 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

by awesome / 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

by Sophie / 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Transportation

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous