CaptTeemo

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CaptTeemo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1183
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CaptTeemo : Captain Teemo on duty!

CaptTeemo's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 9:47am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:40pm<b>bazinga238238</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:03am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:15pm<b>serpent_king</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 6:34am<b>Lt_Senpai</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:41am<b>Arieslink</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:08pm<b>StephanieTanner</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:05pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:41pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:12pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:39pm<b>seth_ramey</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:29am<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:51pm<b>gamergirl18155</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:45am<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:43pm<b>df21312</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:46am

Fucked!<b>Arieslink</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:08pm

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CaptTeemo's favorite FMLs

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

by this guy / 11/21/2013 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

by fmylyfe / 11/09/2013 at 9:15am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Health

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

by vmml97 / 08/01/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm / Transportation

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous