CandyLolita

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CandyLolita

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8078
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CandyLolita's page activity

Visits<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:36pm<b>carlpie815</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:32am<b>minaminaminamina</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 2:18pm<b>fatherpunk</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:15pm<b>Bella_Stella</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:30pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:57am<b>Naufrage</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:40am<b>blowyourspeakers</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 7:10am<b>Sleepwalker418</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 5:13pm<b>silly_kate</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:01am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:54am<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:37pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:56am<b>Zomlette</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:11am<b>SeventhFonons</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>wh0regasm</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:44pm

CandyLolita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CandyLolita's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy