CandyLolita

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CandyLolita

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8034
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CandyLolita's page activity

Visits<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:36pm<b>carlpie815</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:32am<b>minaminaminamina</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 2:18pm<b>fatherpunk</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:15pm<b>Bella_Stella</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:30pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:57am<b>Naufrage</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:40am<b>blowyourspeakers</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 7:10am<b>Sleepwalker418</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 5:13pm<b>silly_kate</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:01am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:54am<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:37pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:56am<b>Zomlette</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:11am<b>SeventhFonons</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>wh0regasm</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:44pm

CandyLolita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CandyLolita's favorite FMLs

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

by chelle / 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy