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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (44925)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (44749)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (56247) - you deserved it (2620)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (107265)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142233) - you deserved it (32737)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (39107)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (38272)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (85816)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (87976) - you deserved it (19715)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146525) - you deserved it (38934)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146525) - you deserved it (38934)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146525) - you deserved it (38934)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80976) - you deserved it (12244)
On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89493) - you deserved it (14396)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80529) - you deserved it (19338)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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