CandyLolita

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CandyLolita

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8285
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CandyLolita's page activity

Visits<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:36pm<b>carlpie815</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:32am<b>minaminaminamina</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 2:18pm<b>fatherpunk</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:15pm<b>Bella_Stella</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:30pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:57am<b>Naufrage</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:40am<b>blowyourspeakers</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 7:10am<b>Sleepwalker418</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 5:13pm<b>silly_kate</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:01am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:54am<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:37pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:56am<b>Zomlette</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:11am<b>SeventhFonons</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>wh0regasm</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:44pm

CandyLolita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CandyLolita's favorite FMLs

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

by theskippster / 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

by anythingjean / 05/25/2009 at 5:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

by boardman / 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

by holly / 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

by Clueless / 05/24/2009 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

by Ames / 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

by unemployed / 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work