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CandyLolita

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CandyLolita

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7125
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CandyLolita's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>minaminaminamina</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 2:18pm<b>fatherpunk</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:15pm<b>Bella_Stella</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:30pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:57am<b>Naufrage</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:40am<b>blowyourspeakers</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 7:10am<b>Sleepwalker418</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 5:13pm<b>silly_kate</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:01am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:54am<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:37pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:56am<b>Zomlette</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:11am<b>SeventhFonons</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>wh0regasm</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:44pm<b>Audio828</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 5:18am<b>Weil</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 5:31pm<b>Rebeccax</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 8:28pm

CandyLolita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CandyLolita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (90333)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10859) - you deserved it (59856)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37349) - you deserved it (58430)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64926) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (69443)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I'm hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then I fainted. FML

#2625677
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44917) - you deserved it (5532)

On 06/05/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Emcee (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

#2569917
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39767) - you deserved it (3930)

On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (15359)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

#2557919
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59221) - you deserved it (25361)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (62362)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75284) - you deserved it (5311)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75284) - you deserved it (5311)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48578) - you deserved it (7695)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

#2473573
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (12807)

On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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