Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8247
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

CandyLolita's page activity

Visits<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:36pm<b>carlpie815</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:32am<b>minaminaminamina</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 2:18pm<b>fatherpunk</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 7:15pm<b>Bella_Stella</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 10:30pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:57am<b>Naufrage</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:40am<b>blowyourspeakers</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 7:10am<b>Sleepwalker418</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 5:13pm<b>silly_kate</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:01am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:54am<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:37pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:56am<b>Zomlette</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:11am<b>SeventhFonons</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 5:16pm<b>wh0regasm</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:44pm

CandyLolita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CandyLolita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 12:41am / United States / Love

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I'm hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then I fainted. FML

by Emcee / 06/05/2009 at 6:48am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

by peeepeee. / 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous