Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CanWeMicrowaveIt

Search for a member

CanWeMicrowaveIt

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2795
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CanWeMicrowaveIt : Heyyo, Names Polo! You're Probably reading this cuz Ive offended you in some way. Well, I'm sorry, But I probably meant it. ^.^. Or if you're a stalker. Shoo

CanWeMicrowaveIt's page activity

Visits<b>Nooblah</b> - yesterday at 8:27pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Kitchen_Ninja</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:12pm<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:10am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Axelerate</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:23am<b>MissCaitlinRose</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:21am<b>delhh</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:21pm<b>batah</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:16am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:00pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:52pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:04pm<b>shiefu</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:05pm<b>max_grant</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:42pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:53am

CanWeMicrowaveIt's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of CanWeMicrowaveIt's badges

CanWeMicrowaveIt's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (3618)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

#16845946
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (2618)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by thatguy - Canada

Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

#16838939
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (2819)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by John - United States (California)

Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

#16838939
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (2819)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by John - United States (California)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (7187)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (7075)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

#16599837
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49097) - you deserved it (6435)

On 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm - love - by sherryberry2013 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76850) - you deserved it (23592)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (7876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55996) - you deserved it (12082)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (2479)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69850) - you deserved it (41890)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: