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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2840
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CanWeMicrowaveIt : Heyyo, Names Polo! You're Probably reading this cuz Ive offended you in some way. Well, I'm sorry, But I probably meant it. ^.^. Or if you're a stalker. Shoo

CanWeMicrowaveIt's page activity

Visits<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Kitchen_Ninja</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:12pm<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:10am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Axelerate</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:23am<b>MissCaitlinRose</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:21am<b>delhh</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:21pm<b>batah</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:16am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:00pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:52pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:04pm<b>shiefu</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:05pm<b>max_grant</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:42pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:53am

CanWeMicrowaveIt's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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CanWeMicrowaveIt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (12375)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (10490)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (5396)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (32444)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

#19318409
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (19030)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8886) - you deserved it (53285)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (49965)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (7714)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (1903)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (5283)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (46264)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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