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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3515
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CanWeMicrowaveIt : Heyyo, Names Polo! You're Probably reading this cuz Ive offended you in some way. Well, I'm sorry, But I probably meant it. ^.^. Or if you're a stalker. Shoo

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CanWeMicrowaveIt's favorite FMLs

Taday I was babysitting tis 12 year old. We were watcing a movie, an e was being an angel just laying wit is ead in ma lap. He fell asleep so I closed ma eyes an ad a little nap. Wen I woke up e ad taken ma srt off an was feeling up ma boobs. FML

#19343662
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (12428)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, MY GRLFRIEND DECIDED TO PLEASURE ME WITH A HANDJOB . IT WAS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MY FORESKIN ISN'T AS FLEXIBLE AS SHE THOUGHT IT TO BE . I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER TO STOP UNTIL SHE ASKED, "IS IT SUPPOSED TO TURN THIS COLOR?" FML

#19336672
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (10539)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, mah girlfriand fall aslaaphila giving ma haad. FML

#19335521
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (5412)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today.!! !! I overhered a grl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim.!! !! one of mah favourite games !! After a while.!! !! I turned around and.!! !! as a fellow gamer.!! !! thanked them for restoring mah faith in humanity !! They went very quiet !! I'm now that werd guy on the bus !! FML

#19324858
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9556) - you deserved it (32676)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a bug undar mah foraskin. big fat FML

#19318409
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (19154)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was watcing a kid at scool walk lika a gangstar. My taacar was standing tara, so I stood baind ta kid and walkd lika im, lauging to mysalf, at wic point my taacar took ma to ona sida and told ma ta kid was andicappd. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8930) - you deserved it (53540)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, mah mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. big fat FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (51724)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, ( Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable. ) The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (7740)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today... While Making Mah Daily Offering Of Turd To The Porcelain Throne... I Took Out Mah Phone And Startd Playing A Game. I Suddenly Felt A Tickling Sensation On Mah Leg... And I Freakd Out As I Saw Hundreds Of Ants Had Emergd From Behind The Toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (3966)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new nieghbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over there backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel lyk an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. mega FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (1911)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation an having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just poopd out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, an I'm still going. I've passd the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (5493)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip an then grip itself to my bare ass . In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing . Until I sat back down . FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (5450)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, mah front house window was smashed !! A note was left, saying 'I want mah cat back' !! I have no idea wat they are talking about !! FML

#18819686
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I movd around a little, so mah date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassd, giving me a reassuring look. fat FML

#18753577
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (5852)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

yastarday ma boyfriand askad ma fir a blow job. Aftar I said ( no ) ovar tan timas, a dacidad to gat up and slap ma across ta faca wit is panis. FML

#18744677
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51328) - you deserved it (47319)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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