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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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CanWeMicrowaveIt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3013
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CanWeMicrowaveIt : Heyyo, Names Polo! You're Probably reading this cuz Ive offended you in some way. Well, I'm sorry, But I probably meant it. ^.^. Or if you're a stalker. Shoo

CanWeMicrowaveIt's page activity

Visits<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:47pm<b>EllaHere</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Amant97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:55am<b>allyiscute1</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:28pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Kitchen_Ninja</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:12pm<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:10am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Axelerate</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:23am<b>MissCaitlinRose</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:21am<b>delhh</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:21pm<b>batah</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:16am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:00pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:52pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:04pm

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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CanWeMicrowaveIt's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39934) - you deserved it (4879)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (4187)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (5433)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (40969)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (6721)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51320) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (3526)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55547) - you deserved it (9873)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (4463)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (6380)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

#20103918
102 comments

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (4845)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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