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CamberwellCarrot

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CamberwellCarrot
  • Town/Country : Hudson, NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1785
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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CamberwellCarrot's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15526) - you deserved it (10951)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21995) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2208)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (37119)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4374) - you deserved it (23366)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (1456)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52245) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (1679)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

#19985398
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (4414)

On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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