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CamberwellCarrot

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CamberwellCarrot

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2568
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CamberwellCarrot's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>HungerGames95</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:09pm<b>Colecto</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:29pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 01/20/2012 at 12:37am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm

CamberwellCarrot's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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CamberwellCarrot's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59448) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3778)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13338) - you deserved it (28766)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (1646)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (1470)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (47004)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (6105)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (2071)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (7119)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6393) - you deserved it (71659)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



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