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CamberwellCarrot

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CamberwellCarrot

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2318
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CamberwellCarrot's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>HungerGames95</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:09pm<b>Colecto</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:29pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 01/20/2012 at 12:37am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm

CamberwellCarrot's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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CamberwellCarrot's favorite FMLs

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (11071)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (5971)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16085) - you deserved it (60864)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (3269)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18934) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31949) - you deserved it (3262)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (2316)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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