Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Callyn

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Callyn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 November 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 88827
  • Number of comments : 346
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Callyn : I'm bored.

Callyn's page activity

Visits<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:53am<b>Star1398</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:16pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 7:22am<b>charissaoz</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:49pm<b>sisas</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:22am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:12pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>anitak912</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:53pm<b>abdullahcakeman</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>AKCowboysFan</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:09am<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:50pm<b>KILLROY570</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:36am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:34pm<b>taylor57899</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:22pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:22pm

Callyn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Callyn's badges

Callyn's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81803) - you deserved it (8028)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

#1446877
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54153) - you deserved it (13944)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

#1124896
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52765) - you deserved it (12230)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

#1120494
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105160) - you deserved it (10251)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97853) - you deserved it (4669)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9300) - you deserved it (61266)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (83581)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45572) - you deserved it (54100)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (201996)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

#696995
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (60497)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

#592855
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84509) - you deserved it (3924)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by fmrunning (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117146) - you deserved it (21623)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

#511211
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46299) - you deserved it (19945)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100247) - you deserved it (24806)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: