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Callyn

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Callyn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 November 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 88378
  • Number of comments : 346
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Callyn : I'm bored.

Callyn's page activity

Visits<b>billionair11</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:22pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:48pm<b>jadalahearts</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:46am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:24am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:15pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:42pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:02pm<b>WyldStyle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:33pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:52pm<b>TTT33</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:24am<b>therosalina</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:52am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:31am<b>LRiver</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:02am<b>FML_kind_of_day</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:59pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:14pm<b>kawiikitty1013</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:42am

Callyn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Callyn's badges

Callyn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56968) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

#4029812
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59027) - you deserved it (21756)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you deserved it (79611)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (56647)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71377) - you deserved it (12511)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you deserved it (114969)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (23579)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (23579)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (23579)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
540 comments

I agree, your life sucks (208953) - you deserved it (22455)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

#2187594
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65933) - you deserved it (24136)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39999) - you deserved it (2132)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

#1923486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61458) - you deserved it (13767)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by peoplesuck (man) - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13027) - you deserved it (45945)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98791) - you deserved it (22695)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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