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ButterzXx

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ButterzXx

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Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (38431)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (1887)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11175) - you deserved it (39937)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40881) - you deserved it (5798)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51509) - you deserved it (3970)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (10711)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (14356)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12938) - you deserved it (31366)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (7956)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (3652)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55513) - you deserved it (3949)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (25181)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (3767)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80083) - you deserved it (24575)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6450)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)



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