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ButterzXx

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ButterzXx

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ButterzXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46595) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47534) - you deserved it (4552)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48798) - you deserved it (6152)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44829) - you deserved it (6290)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55795) - you deserved it (5589)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (8693)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (5009)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41060) - you deserved it (4968)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (9336)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48328) - you deserved it (7533)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42525) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (7462)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39120) - you deserved it (14351)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51985) - you deserved it (5912)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML



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