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ButterzXx

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ButterzXx

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  • Number of visits : 1942
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ButterzXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (2988)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33944) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43190) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (2551)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

#21312556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (8237)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (4332)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (7641)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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