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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49990) - you deserved it (13603)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45952) - you deserved it (20991)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (3737)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41293) - you deserved it (3029)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (6101)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (6987)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69827) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (95656)
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49022) - you deserved it (2871)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (4278)
On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (5692)
On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (7433)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (5180)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (6319)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Monday 17 June 2013
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