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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
BubbaGee's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML
by jellyfish_ftw / 12/15/2009 at 5:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/07/2009 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Love
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids
by Kegronauer / 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML
by Lemonhead / 07/21/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by archer / 11/20/2008 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his… Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three… Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left…