About Brukernavn : I wear glasses
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82209) - you deserved it (30309)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13650) - you deserved it (109096)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (24074)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461629) - you deserved it (573469)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67859) - you deserved it (15062)
On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (8049)
On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32358) - you deserved it (6702)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by leelee50 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11029) - you deserved it (34248)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you deserved it (40364)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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