This member hasn't filled in their description.
BreezyMargarita's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
BreezyMargarita's favorite FMLs
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
by windshitwipers / 05/30/2013 at 5:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by anonymoose / 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love
by festival virgin / 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
by WTFruits / 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
by no boobies / 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
by $$$ / 05/29/2013 at 12:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is… Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder.… Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star…