About Breezymargarita Not specified
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Breezymargarita's FML badges
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Breezymargarita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

By IvyLeague? / Tuesday 15 January 2013 02:52 / United States - Buffalo

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

By What a happy day - / Monday 14 January 2013 17:36 / Australia - Brisbane

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 14 January 2013 17:58 / United States - Arlington

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

By shiney100893 - / Monday 14 January 2013 12:56 / Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

By Brooke / Tuesday 15 January 2013 05:45 / United States - Manteca