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BrEnNo1023's favorite FMLs
by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
by Flubber / 02/07/2009 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
by BRELLA / 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by noname / 12/29/2008 at 1:09am / Miscellaneous
by Black / 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm / Lebanon (Beqaa) / Intimacy
- Today, I made a dessert and shared it with my friends. one of the layers of this dessert was white.… Today, at my daycare a child shoved her sock down her throat and forced herself to throw up... All… Today, I climbed into bed for a well welcomed sleep. Just as I was about to fall into a deep sleep…