About BrEnNo1023 : Insert opinion here
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205407) - you deserved it (44836)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (5483)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55485) - you deserved it (6465)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11669) - you deserved it (48471)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (9630)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44016) - you deserved it (7000)
On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178025) - you deserved it (61466)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178025) - you deserved it (61466)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (49874)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (14461)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (3310)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (3310)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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