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BrEnNo1023

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BrEnNo1023
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1740
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BrEnNo1023 : Insert opinion here

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BrEnNo1023's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (75866)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (44100)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14108) - you deserved it (36241)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (2330)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

#4895245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (6133)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62765) - you deserved it (2218)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73813) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51276) - you deserved it (9781)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12116) - you deserved it (40481)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56914) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107766) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55362) - you deserved it (11851)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (92286)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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