About Br0wnEyedMyztery : U can love me, hate me, resent me, respect me, but u have to accept me for me, because that’s all I will ever be.
I\'m just a carefree music lover who likes to have a good time.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (3509)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (21134)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (3178)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18541) - you deserved it (21132)
On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7596) - you deserved it (27894)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (4169)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (6347)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22709)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97318) - you deserved it (23462)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9609) - you deserved it (35289)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by noballs - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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