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Br0wnEyedMyztery

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Br0wnEyedMyztery

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Br0wnEyedMyztery : U can love me, hate me, resent me, respect me, but u have to accept me for me, because that’s all I will ever be.

I\'m just a carefree music lover who likes to have a good time.

Br0wnEyedMyztery's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:23pm<b>slopeinc</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 6:40pm<b>Ritaa</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 2:30pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 06/23/2010 at 11:31pm

Br0wnEyedMyztery's FML badges

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Br0wnEyedMyztery's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (4578)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (7989)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (28362)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32015) - you deserved it (7733)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (29157)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49978) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (37576)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (8135)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8024) - you deserved it (31553)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56885) - you deserved it (11363)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML



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